It is okay to be uncomfortable.

Hello all, and welcome to another blog. It has been a while. Grab some chips and a pop and enjoy the ride. I am rapidly approaching my 18 month mark in my recovery. I want everyone to know that this has not been easy, and continues to be a challenge. I have been faced with abundance of opportunity to relapse, and many people would think this far in, it would be difficult. It is quite the contrary. I have been able to divert my attention away from using, but it has not been easy. My path and my meditation make it much easier to abstain. So does the end game and the accountability that I have to those who rely on me to stay sober. Family, friends, the Sangha and the community that I belong to.

Wrapping up yet another semester, and I take great pride in knowing that I will be walking with a fellow Refuge member next December. It is going to be fan fucking tastic. I hope everyone is doing well, and I wanted to just burp some words to everyone for a quick minute. I love you all!

A New Dawn, a New Day

Hello to the Sangha!!! I am happy to be here. I just want to poke in and say a few things about what has been happening in RRKZOO and some things that have happened recently in my personal life. First of all, I want to share some love world wide to everyone that reads this blog. Much Metta to you all.

As I stated before, this website is dedicated to the Kalamazoo Sangha, but the blog is utilized to document my journey in both recovery as well as my Buddhist path. That being said, our Sangha is amazing and if it weren’t for them, as well as my core group of people, I would not have the ambition, drive or fortitude to trudge ahead at the clip that I am going. I work hard at my sobriety and schooling as it is necessary to provide a better life for myself and my family. In addition, I took my Refuge vows as well as Bohdisattva vows this weekend.

The ceremony was held in a small local yoga studio and was a beautiful experience. There were three in total that took the Refuge vows and I believe there were 16 in total that took Bohdisattva vows. It was an amazing experience and I learned a lot about the path that I am taking. It really allowed me to open my eyes and understand ME as a person and acknowledge my mistakes. I relinquished my past today and will not long have my burdens. 

Also, we are going to move forward with pursuing a Portage location for Refuge Recovery. As long as the planets align, we should be up and running in a month or two. This will be a location in Portage Michigan, with another facilitator (or perhaps myself) as we are not aware of the options yet. Stay tuned for more. Time for me to do my sleep meditation and my offerings.



Little ball of wisdom

Happy Saturday everyone. I know it’s early, but I am making my way to sleep again in a moment. I woke up bolt upright because of a conversation i had with someone after our meeting last night. I wanted to share my analogy to see if it actually makes sense to people.

I rarely get feedback for my posts, so I really wonder if people read my blog or not. While it won’t change my initial impression, it could easily allow for me to open my mind a bit more. So here is what I said last night.

The stories we share amongst each other during our meetings are a huge part of our individualized recovery journey. Each time a new member visits for the first time, they receive bits and pieces of peoples stories and subconsciously incorporate this wisdom into their mental bank. Enter the yarn ball.

You see, we walk around with this enormous fucking ball of yarn on our shoulders. It grows and shrinks. It is all of our problems and issues, worries, concerns, all negative thoughts and ill feelings. As we expand our minds and delve deeper into our practice, this ball becomes flexible.

As we talk about the stuff on our minds, each person pulls a straight pin from this yarn ball. As we continue to meditate and learn of all of this negativity and worry, we learn ways to either cope with the issues or find the good in every situation. Now, take a straight pin from the yarn ball, and add it to the styrofoam ball that is permanantly fixed over your heart center.

So, in reality, the concept is simple. We take the negative experiences or burden of others (the yarn) and learn from these experiences (the straight pin) and apply them to our everyday lives with coping, recovery, life experience; and apply the victories to our own life (the styrofoam ball).

The idea is to eliminate the yarn from our shoulders and turn it into the pins in the styrofoam ball of our hearts. Then, as we walk around every day, we can show off that foam ball and offer individual straight pins (Dharma) to those people that we meet.I hope this analogy, while slightly odd, makes sense. And if you ever want me to demonstrate my philosophy, ask me about it.

Thanks for visiting thenodd and wild mind of an aspiring Buddhist.

With much metta



Newcomers welcome!

Just wanted to post a quick reminder about a few things. I know it is a blog, so let me share some love.

We love newcomers. We love seeing fresh faces and the new energy that is brought to our meetings. We also work very hard to include and incorporate all newcomers to our meetings. There is no need to be shy, we were all new once. So much information can be gained from a new member from the Sangha and as always….all addictions are welcome.

Our group seems to grow and grow weekly. There are benefits to each meeting, different messages and information, different chairpersons bring a unique twist to each meeting. Involvement and education are what make this program so wonderful.

While not everyome shares my enthusiasm and metta for the program, I have noticed that so many wonderful people enjoy the meditation, the positive attitudes and laughter and most importsntly the group healing. We are a large and happy family that shares a common goal; recovery efforts that are not obtained solo. The group effort makes it possible and the the information that we share makes recovery not only possible, but enjoyable.

If you are a newcomer and are reading this, please join us. If you are a member of the Sangha keep the positive feedback rolling.

I look forqard to seeing all you beautiful people tomorrow and Saturday.



Oh the power of Sangha

Well, as many know, I created this page for our local program. While I am fully aware that it is representative of our organization, I have been torn between blogging my personal experiences and not on our page. Then it dawned on me….my experiences in life and my blogs, are BECAUSE of Refuge Recovery. If it wasn’t for this program, I would have gotten wasted today, even though last SPD was not especially pleasant for me.

I am sober today, and have been for a year. I received a cake, cookies and soft drinks thanks tk the sangha. I thought it was amazing and I cried heavy tears. Its been a while since I was emotional. As I move forward, I look forward to what will happen in the future.